“Welcome to the Kobe System.” With that simple declarative sentence, Kobe Bryant begins his pitch. What’s he selling? Success. He knows you have awards, rings, ribbons, a filet mignon and flying cars, making you someone who’s at the top, someone who doesn’t need anyone’s advice. And that’s precisely how he knows you need his. The latest ad from Nike Basketball capitalizes on the “system” concept of Kobe’s seventh signature shoe, transforming the innovative sneaker into a formula for success that can be transferred a la Tony Robbins. Hilariously deadpan and overflowing with misplaced gravitas, the pitch is hypnotic all the same. Check out the very funny video after the click.